My crown has been a little crooked these past couple of weeks. Life is hard. This blog post isn’t about telling folks to just suck it up though. I think we need to be ok saying when life gets to be too much for us. We often only show the sunny side when we give people a peek into our lives. This post is about sharing what I’m grappling with and how I’m reaching for the sunny side while both feet seem to be stuck in the hard.
One of the biggest things on my heart is coming to grips with the fact that my last child is graduating from high school next month. I. Am. Not. Ready. (Yes. I’m tearing up as I type this.) I have had a child in my home for 29 years. That’s more than half my life. Being a mom is what I know how to do and I’m really good at it. This also means I prepared my youngest to soar, but have I mentioned I’m not ready? And, the time has flown by cuz I swear I just gave birth to this kid. So, my mood ranges from celebratory to momma grief as we prepare for prom, graduation, and getting him ready to start college in the fall. I know I have to adjust, but I’m not there yet cuz I really love this phase of motherhood. This feels really hard.
My other identity is being a leader in education. My life’s work has been ensuring students earn a credential after high school whether that be in the trades or a 2-year or 4-year degree. If you don’t have a loved one pursuing a credential right now, then you may not be tracking that the federal government botched an attempt to roll out a new online financial aid platform. It was rolled out late and when they finally launched it, it didn’t work. In fact, it’s been an absolute debacle. And, it’s high stakes because pursuing a credential can be expensive without the financial support. The education eco-system and non-profits are working hard to support students and families to navigate through it, but I’m so frustrated that humans seem to make everything more complex than it needs to be. This too feels hard, but also makes me really mad on behalf of students.
I’ve honestly been sitting in it for several weeks and have decided it’s time to move myself out of it. Getting these frustrations out of my head by sharing this with you is one way for me to move forward. The other way is for me to re-anchor in my purpose which is to be a good ancestor and that has two parts for me. One aspect of being a good ancestor is ensuring that every generation of my family does better than the generation before, which my father impressed upon me as a child. The other part is transforming education so that every child has a relevant and meaningful learning experience that prepares them to pursue whatever avenue their hearts desire. So, I’m re-anchoring myself in my purpose because I know that I can rest, but I can’t give up when life gets hard.
If you’re feeling like life is hard right now, I also encourage you to re-anchor in your purpose. My actions to move myself out of the hard are varied:
Positive self-talk
Prayer
Exercise
Rest
Quiet reflection
Writing this blog post
Talking with my sacred circle
In the case of the financial aid example, taking action steps to ensure people have the help they need.
I also highly recommend singing and laughing. It costs nothing and feels absolutely freeing.
Thanks for listening!
Crowns Up, Queens!
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